The Most Important (sexy seduction) Step Towards Freedom and Happiness, That You Must Know

November 19th, 2008 admin Posted in relationships |

By Vicka Tanski

What do you think you should do to be really happy?

I heard a lot of different answers:

-I have to be rich
-To love what I have or do
-I need a good family and friends
-And other variations…

But none of them is complete answer.

So, listen carefully:

In order to live in happiness and freedom- “you have to be absolutely, totally, completely YOU!

You have to express yourself full power in all possible ways of expression”- it is the requirement of your soul in this life”

The meaning of this for everyone is different, because everyone has different potential, DNA, information that he/ she carries inside.

Everyone has different desires, and loves different kinds of people, things and activities.

Until you repress your unique desires and try to be anything except yourself and to do anything except what you like, you will limit your happiness and freedom.

If you want your life to be absolutely fulfill, it also not enough to do only one thing you like, and ignore others.

For example: if you like to dance, to sing and to help people to improve their lives, don’t limit yourself to doing only one of these activities. Find the time and opportunity to do all of them.

You cannot imagine how your life will become more exciting, fulfill and satisfying then.

It’s really not so easy in our society to be absolutely yourself. People are constantly judging you, and trying to make you only a “biological robot”, in order to control you.

But tell me, and yourself the truth: what is really important for you :

- Stay small, dependent and weak person, who want to satisfy others and to let them control and use you

- Or become a free person, start living beautiful and exciting life and help others to do the same.

To get practical tips on living in spiritual, mental and financial freedom,
sign up to my newsletter here: http://www.the-way-to-freedom.com/?ref=jsht-1

To Your Freedom,
Vicka Tanski.

How To Speak Up To an Abusive and Intimidating Colleague
By maureen collins

Many people work with abusive and intimidating colleagues. The situation is especially difficult when they are in positions of seniority. Speaking up carries the risk that you will damage your career. Keeping quiet carries the risk that you will damage your health!

Most of us start out by putting up with abusive behaviour. Confronting it is too difficult and the stakes are too high. As time goes on we become stressed; we are permanently exhausted; we dread going to work. Eventually we ask for a transfer or leave the company. Less often we explode with pent up frustration and anger.

While confronting abusive people is always difficult, it is possible to set up a conversation where you can safely speak about how you feel and then ask that you talk through the problem.

Consider a situation where one of the executives in your organisation is constantly finding fault with your work and criticizing you in front of others. You do not understand where this is coming from and you find it hard not to be defensive. You decide to talk to him. You know it will be a difficult conversation because he is touchy and likely to blow up at the least provocation.

Keep in mind that you are having the conversation to clear the air and put your relationship onto a better footing. You might even find the person is surprised by your reaction and had no idea he was coming over as intimidating. Also remember that in some way you might be part of the problem!

First decide exactly what you are going to confront. You have to choose between talking about the pattern of the behaviour, or describing just one example. In this case, it would be safer to choose one instance and hope that he will pick up on your feelings about his behaviour as a whole.

A safe question that would get you started could be: Can I talk to you about something that is concerning me. This opening draws his attention to the conversation and sets a serious tone, without going into the content of the issue.

Then be very clear and specific about the behaviour that is upsetting you. If you choose one example of behaviour, speak up soon after it occurs, when you both have a clear memory of what was said. Keep it short. A long list of what he said or did will start to sound like an accusation and risk your getting an explosive reaction.

You might say: This morning when you gave me feedback on my project report you did so at my desk in front of the team. When you raised your voice, I noticed others looking over at us.

When you have described the behaviour that you find upsetting, describe how you feel about it. Choose your words carefully and use them tentatively. You could say: Maybe you do not intend this but sometimes I feel like you think I am incompetent.

Then invite the person to talk to you. You could use a very open question such as: How do you see it? Or you could be even less confrontational and say: Is there something I do that is creating the situation between us?

Listen very carefully to their reply. You may find it difficult to acknowledge that their view of the situation differs widely from yours and you may feel defensive if you are told that your own behaviour is at fault.

There are always two sides to a story. You will only get to the bottom of a problem when you have heard both of them. Then you can decide what can be done to resolve the situation.

Maureen Collins has a B.Sc. degree in Psychology from Edinburgh University and over 25 years of consulting experience. She specialises in communication in the workplace. In Straight Talk, she trains people how to handle difficult conversations, on difficult topics, with difficult people. Get free Straight Talk Tips. http://www.straight-talk.co.za

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