Seductive Dream

By Joshua Penman

 Dating blogs, social sites, books and guides might encourage you to impress her with grand romantic gestures and unbounded admiration, even lots of flattery, but to know what women really want when dating is very important, and it might surprise you. Over and above that, there are basics in any new relationship that need to be met. Here are the top four surprising traits, which impress women when dating.

1. No grandiose gestures (just the smaller ones will do - keep it simple and sweet)
When we think of romance it can often conjure up images of grand gestures, which will sweep a woman off her feet. Yes women want to be swept off of their feet, but it is the simpler things that do the trick. While a giant bouquet of roses or an unexpected weekend in Paris is not to be sniffed at, you cannot buy a woman’s affection - it is the smaller gestures, which will lead to approval.

Holding a door open for the person you are dating (in the right circumstances) shows good manners without being over the top. Basic common courtesy and proper treatment is what she needs. Try to emphasize your respect without making too much of a fuss - she will notice the little things and you will be able to keep up this behavior over time. To be honest, the majors can be a turn off; they simply are not generally sustainable and would potentially damage the relationship in the future.

2. An element of challenge - The Chase.
A lot of very good men mess this part up unnecessarily here with dating. Women love to be looked after to some extent, but don’t really need to have their every whim catered to by a man who quite obviously adores them from day one. Over flatter or abnormal attention is not good. They need space too.

While treating a woman well is one thing, being an absolute pushover is never all that attractive, and this is the reason many ‘nice guys’ aren’t the ones who are the luckiest when it comes to dating. Here is what makes it interesting: there is an element of ‘the thrill of the chase’ for both sexes, so bear this in mind and try not to put the woman you are dating on a pedestal straight away - let her impress you, too! Women are interested in a man for a reason.

3. A stubborn streak - Changes.
The woman you are dating might give the impression she wants you to change, but let her wrap you around her little finger and you could discover, changes made, that she’s lost interest after all. It could very well be another ‘test’. This is because most women, deep down, are a lot happier knowing their partner is a strong man who can speak up for himself. So be careful, be wise and be respectful of her and her input in to your life. After all that changes are a part of life.

If she does ask you to change, be very wary of doing it. That is, unless it’s a change you wanted to make anyway (like stopping smoking or some very irritable bad habit). Try to stay true to yourself, while looking after her needs where you can, and she’ll respect you more for it. Sometimes the way you are just the way your are. You’ll have to respect her just the same for her differences. This is what makes a mature relationship that will stand the test of time and trial.

4. Being unavailable - Is she ignoring you?
This does not equate to not calling back - that’s just rude! But a certain amount of space and time apart or ‘unavailability’ can make for a longer lasting relationship. Time and space is a good ‘relationship test’ She might think she wants you to be around all the time but a little time apart can do wonders to keep the spark going between you. Over familiarity can really run down an ‘un seasoned’ relationship.

If you aim to keep up your usual activities, such as meeting your friends and family or spending time on your hobbies, this should give enough downtime to your relationship to keep it burning hot when you’re together.

Hope these tips help you. More to come in future on Women and Men, Dating, Relationships and Understanding Women.

Joshua Penman is an author, researcher, blogger and supports the site: http://www.TheArtofUnderstandingWomen.com and http://www.JustforRelationships.com

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