Seductive Dream

By Peri Enkin

 Over the past few years it has been my ongoing privilege to work with a growing number of couples. They seek me out for private mentoring and for support with the quality of intimacy in their relationships. Some are newly in love and just starting out on their shared journey together. Others are long-term couples. Now, one or the other or both has found themselves at a crossroads. Regardless of the length of time that couples have been together there seem to be a few central underlying themes to the challenges we all face when it comes to being intimate with another human being.

My own relationship journey has inspired me to undertake a very personal study of what it really takes to achieve genuine intimacy. It is such a foundational human longing - the desire for connection and companionship- that it appears on the radar screen often whenever we set our hopes on a fulfilling lifestyle.

Who among us does not want to love and be loved?

While I regularly travel to study with teachers in the relationship field, it is more from years of close observation and deep listening that I have been led to formulate some of my loosely held perspectives. I say loosely, because having hard fast rules when it comes to matters of the heart seems ridiculous at best.

When we speak of love we are in spiritual territory, where intuition carries us much further than logic ever could.

I rely more on the feelings in my body, the vibration of aliveness in my cells, the depth of soul visible in the eyes, to guide my way to an understanding of love and its majesty. That said, more than a few clients have asked me to write some words that might help them make sense of both the chaos and the wonder they experience. It is both humbling and empowering to speak of such things.

A universal hunger for more meaningful and nourishing loving connections with other human beings is often felt as an ache or need we prefer to keep hidden. To expose these longings takes us immediately into vulnerable territory. That is the first observation I will offer today. Intimacy requires vulnerability. There is no getting around it. To be close to another we must reveal who we are and that means risking rejection, ridicule and surprisingly, something much more frightening for many - the possibility that we might actually attain the acceptance we seek.

Here is the thing. Evolution is happening everywhere and that includes within our intimate relationships. When two individuals come together to create a third presence- their relationship - the evolution of each individual accelerates. Have you heard the expression - If you want to grow get into a relationship? I find it to be so true!

There is nothing like a relationship to fuel the evolutionary fires.

In fact in healthy relationships - those based on celebrating differences, encouraging wholeness and honoring needs of both partners, growth is inevitable.

Challenges emerge when couples limit their own personal expansion. Or when they assume that their partner will remain the same over the course of a lifetime. How comfortable are any of us with change? We like the comfort of the familiar even if it no longer serves us.

It takes great courage to stay conscious in relationships.

Going to sleep and living according to habit, at times, seems much more viable. That is, until the pressure to evolve rises and no longer will be shut down or ignored by us.

The truth is that evolution washes through us and cannot be denied any more than a wave upon the ocean can. Resist the flow and it backs up creating enormous pressure. Many relationships are altered or abandoned right before the point of breakthrough. It is much easier to blame a partner than to take responsibility for developing more consciousness. Especially when we have so few models of relationships that are based on two whole partners coming together to expand both their uniqueness as individuals and their shared magnificence. More often we come together in an attempt to fill our emptiness, pacify our loneliness, or soothe our inner conflicts. We do all of these things in the name of love and wonder why we often feel drained. Real love energizes us. It is an offering that can fertilize the ground upon which both people are safe to become more than they could ever be alone.

Relationships are not an elixir or remedy.

They are a catalyst and container for transformation and a place to share a whole range of experiences. The thing is - relationships mean such different things to different people that we often get confused about what we are doing together. One of the first things to do is to clarify and define your relationship vision - both individually and together.

It does not matter whether you are currently part of a couple or a single. It can be helpful to consider the following two urges and how they motivate your behaviors.

The Urge for Freedom - experienced as a longing for personal development of our own skills, and the engaging of life on our own terms.

The Urge for Connection - the longing to merge, unite, share and experience communion - intimate unity that takes us beyond our independence and transforms us thoroughly.

If you have pursued freedom in your past chances are you now long for connection. If you have known intimate connection it is quite possible that it is now time for you to develop your own inner authority. Eventually we want embrace it all.

Balancing our urge for freedom and our urge for connection seems to be a prevailing evolutionary challenge within the relationship arena. When we realize we do not need to give up our selves to be fully present with another, relationships act as a sanctuary. The journey taken together has the potential to be a most exquisite opening to our own essence and to more of everything that life has to offer.

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Pessimism Can Be a Strain on Your Relationship
By Kelly Church

 Have you ever known someone that is constantly complaining or thinking negatively? As many people will tell you, being around a person like this is a read drag. Even worse than just being in the company of someone who constantly behaves this way is being in a relationship with someone who is that way. There are several things that can be done to tackle this problem. The first thing you need to do is to realize that pessimism can be a very unhealthy strain on a relationship. Then, you need to objectively analyze your daily behavior and decide whether or not you are a negative person and if it is affecting your relationship. Once you have decided this, specific actions need to be taken to turn your outlook into a positive one.

The first thing you must realize is that pessimism can be a heavy strain on any relationship, but especially a romantic one. Being in a commitment with someone who is always complaining and looking at the negative side of life is tiresome and can become very tedious to put up with. Sometimes, the spouse of the pessimist is determined to take that person out of the mood he or she is in, but it can be a difficult thing to do. A person who always complains or is looking at the negative side of life needs constant reassurance that everything is going to be ok. While everyone has issues and needs comfort once in awhile, constantly having to keep a negative person in good spirits can be mentally and emotionally exhausting.

Once you realize how much of a toll negativity can be on a relationship, you must then determine whether this is happening in your life. Sometimes it is difficult for a negative person to even realize that he or she is being negative all the time. Someone who constantly complains might begin to do so out of habit without even realizing it. This is an awful trap to fall into and you need to listen to others about their perceptions of your attitude. Many times, the people around you, especially your partner, can help you realize that you are a negative person.

If you determine that you are on a regular basis a negative person, there are steps you can take to get out of this mode. The first thing you must do is to think. Every time something comes out of your mouth, thought should go into it. As you speak, you may find that you say negative things automatically. Purposefully making the effort to turn your negative speech positive by listening to what your comments may sound like to other people can help you on your road to positivity.

Another thing to do is to purposely set out to say positive things. For example, if you think something negative, find a way to make a positive statement. If you have a cold for example, it is easy to think negatively about how bad you feel. But thinking about the fact that you have your good health usually and will get over this cold soon can be an instance of changing a negative train of thought to a positive one.

Though it is sometimes difficult to be positive all the time, if you are negative most of the time, you may be putting unnecessary burden on your loved one. First realizing that this can strain a relationship, that you have a problem, and then taking steps to resolve it can help ease the communication and overall feel in your commitment with your significant other.

If your relationship has reached the point that you are ready to move on visit the authors website for break up advice. You can also find cheap date ideas that will help you nurture your current relationship or your next without going broke.

Your Insight To Seductive Dreams And What They Reveal

Add Your Personality To Every Room Of Your House
By Dallas Dougan

 Going back home to an environment that is well-decorated with lovely art prints can uplift your spirits and decrease your stress levels after hours of working for the man. It will also help you feel more at home because it portrays your connection with your home. When you are surrounded by your own creative inspirations it is easier to relish your free time and more fun to have company over.

Studies have shown that being surrounded by natural elements such as plants can bolster your health. We think that this is definitely true of the home. This is because we think the source of this beneficial effect is the sense of something natural and easy to relate to. We are spiritual animals who need to be engulfed in fresh natural environments.

This nourishment can be provided by putting lovely art prints containing organic-looking things which allow your mind to feel right at home. When we display art prints, we are able to pick what types of stimulating environments we will have around us, but the effect will be the same: a happier feeling day-to-day. These feelings manifest due an increased sense of oneness with our home world. We feel connected, we have a sense of being more cooperative with our surroundings, and so we are able to be still and enjoy ourselves.

Likewise, when we have taken an active role in the creation of our home environment it helps us to have a feeling that we have come to grips with ourselves as parts of our world. This supplements our feelings of being happy and relaxed because it gives us the sensation that we are in control of the situation. This reduces our stress and helps us to relate more clearly to the people we care about the most when we are at home.

Finally, a beautiful home can help to improve your social life because it makes it significantly smoother to invite friends over to come and hang out with you. When you have put art prints around that help to bring your personality into your surroundings, you have beautified your house with an assortment of conversation starters that can help to get conversations going and build up your friendships.

Even if you are only home alone you will find that it is much more enjoyable to be surrounded by pieces that you have chosen, because your own consciousness is connected to the art prints at a fundamental level. As you become more familiar, your appreciation of your chosen stimuli will develop as you become more relaxed and accustomed to your environment.

Dallas teaches artists about how to market themselves by writing excellent resumes. He has written extensively about how to put together an acting resume and a modeling resume.

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